The bible is history? So a snake really talked? And god turned a woman into a pillar of salt? And appeared as a burning bush? And carved commandments on breakable stones? And sent "she-bears" to maul 42 kids for calling a guy bald? (defying the laws of the physical universe)
Which Part defies the laws of the physical universe and where did these laws come from?
And this god magically impregnated a virgin to become his own son?
No. What does magic have to do with it? And why is sex implied? There was no sex.. If Mary was a virgin when she gave birth to Jesus, there was no sex. Why is that hard to believe if you accept that God called all space and time - the very fabric of reality - out of nothing. Even if you find this hard to believe that doesn't mean it did not happen.
And temporarily died? And then became a sort of zombie?
Oh great....the "zombie" charge. I wrote about this already. Zombies and the Bible According to Askeg
And then whisked off to heaven? And now sits in judgement of everyone in trinity fashion (whatever that means)? Really? Who knew? Or is just some of that historical? How do you know which magic is the "true woo"? If you don't believe that the bible is history does the god of the bible punish you for all eternity?
I don't know what "trinity fashion" means because no where does the Bible use such language. There is no magic in the Bible, so the question is meaningless. Supernatural miracles are not the same as magic. And people don't go to hell because they reject the Bible as history. People go to hell because of their sin. Hell is your default ultimate destination without Jesus' intervention.
Do you consider the Greek Myths historically accurate? The Book of Mormon? The miracle claims in the Quran? Mother Goose?
You have to consider a miracle claim on its own merits. You can't just dismiss something because you don't think it makes sense. As a Christian you can't rule out the miracle claims of another just because they are not a Christian. No where in the Bible are we told that only Christian believers experience miracles.
1 If a prophet, or one who foretells by dreams, appears among you and announces to you a sign or wonder, 2 and if the sign or wonder spoken of takes place, and the prophet says, “Let us follow other gods” (gods you have not known) “and let us worship them,” 3 you must not listen to the words of that prophet or dreamer. The LORD your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. 4 It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him. - Deuteronomy 13:1-4
How do you decided which far fetched or supernatural claims really happened? Inner knowingness? I hear that if you read the Book of Mormon and pray to know if it's true, god will give you a personal "testimony"!
No. You look at evidence and consider the sources. For example Mormon theology assumes an eternal universe and God just rearranged stuff that already existed. We know from science that isn't true - thereby falsifying Mormon theology. See how easy that is?
If someone told you they saw a chupacabra... do you believe they actually saw one... or do you assume they saw something that THEY thought must be a chupacabra because they believe in chupacabras?
Unless you can show that the person is prone to lying or that chupacabra do not exist, then I would say that you don't know if the person is wrong or not. New animal species are constantly being discovered. Maybe some get missed. But the analogy is flawed because a chupacabra's existence does not have much of a bearing on your eternal destination or how you will choose to live your life. It's also disingenuous because it pretends that the evidences for the existence of God and the validity of the Bible are just as good as evidence for the chupacabra.
Debunking Christianity: Quote of the Day, by articulett
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