Thursday, July 1, 2010

Relationship Ninja: I’m A 23-Year-Old Virgin. How Do I Get My V-Card Revoked? « Crushable

Here is a blog post where a young woman asks for advice on loosing her virginity because she doesn't want it any more. I don't like the advice given. It's not the advice I'd want my children to have. I'd want know why does she want to give up her virginity. What's wrong with it? I know what it's like to have urges and what we would consider needs, but is it a real necessity. I measn people don't die because they don't have sex but they can die because of it. I mean with all the sexually transmitted diseases, it's a risk. Unwanted pregnancy is a concern. Even with protection there is no guarantee that she won't catch something or get something that she had not planned on. Then what about the emotional and psychological ramifications. Should she just find a guy and use him for her own sexual ramification? What does it say about her if she knowingly allows herself to be used even if she is using him that way? Two things that the advice giver wrote that really bugged me we were:

First things first: if there’s one pervasive myth about sex that I’d like to completely eradicate from the face of the earth, it’s that your virginity is SUCH A BIG DEAL that if you lose it to the WRONG PERSON it will RUIN YOU FOREVER.
It isn’t, and it won’t.
I mean she's right that it doesn't have to ruin your life and we should not let it. But can you really argue that if you never had sex with the wrong person that living without that regret would not make your life better? I think it would.

Sex is something you’ll do over and over again. You’ve got plenty of time to practice. And since you’re interested in having sex – and, presumably, not planning on marrying the first dude you sleep with – you can afford to be a little more cavalier.

Can anyone be really cavalier about what they do with their body and who they let into their body? I don't think so.

But while you can certainly hope to find a Prince Charming with a magic peen who’ll make your inaugural romp a thrilling night of whimsy and wonder, just be aware that you’re much more likely to get a variation on the same theme that pretty much everyone experiences during first-time sex: a fair amount of confusion, a bit of pain, and, eventually, a wet spot.

Not a very rosey picture. While that is a theme the advice giver may be used to, it's not what anyone has to settle for. God promises much better for us if we just obey him and treat sex as a sacred gift only for your spouse whom you love and who loves you. No confusion. No guilt. No psychological pain.

Relationship Ninja: I’m A 23-Year-Old Virgin. How Do I Get My V-Card Revoked? « Crushable
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