This list was sent to me by Ed Babinski:
1) Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 21:11-13) [About the command that her nails be trimmed, you wouldn’t want her to scratch your eyes out, would you? "When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and they Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou has taken them captive, And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldst have her to wife, Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare [trim] her nails." (Deut. 21:10,11,12)]
I think to a lot of people's minds it looks like the marriage was against the women's will. It is against our own modern sensibilities to treat women as spoils of war but it seems like certain facts are ignored. Typically when women were taken they were treated like slaves not as wives.These laws were giving prescriptions about how to treat women taken captive in war. You could not rape them, humiliate them, or mistreat them.
2) “Lay hold on” a virgin who is not betrothed to another man, and have sex with her, but afterwards pay her father a sum of money. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 22:28-29)
I'd like to know what translation this person is quoting because the NIV, KJV, and NASB do not state this as a command to tell people that this is a good idea or that we should do this. It is saying that if you find this kind of situation, this is how you handle it. The man must marry her and treat her as a full wife.It was protection for a woman. If a man knew he would be forced to marry a woman if he raped her, pay the full dowry, and never divorce her should make a man think before he acts. You could not just rape a woman and get away with it.
This is how the NIV translates the verse:
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay the girl's father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
3) Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
So, is the insinuation that it's wrong to marry prostitutes? Do you remember why Hosea was told to marry Gomer?
1 The word of the LORD that came to Hosea son of Beeri during the reigns of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah, kings of Judah, and during the reign of Jeroboam son of Jehoash king of Israel:So the marriage, like all marriages, was intended to illustrate God's relationship with his people. Hosea's love and devotion to wife who cheated on him and rejected him. Likewise Israel, and many of us spurn God - selfishly serving other gods like ourselves and wallowing in sin. But like how Gomer repented and gave up being a hoe and began to love and respect her husband and Hosea took her back, we can stop being hoes and return to God and He will take us back.
2 When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, "Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD." 3 So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.
4) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.--Moses (Ex. 2:16-21)
And what is wrong with that? Moses didn't just water Jethro's flock, he ran off some shepherd who tried to strong-arm the girls out of the right to use the well. I don't think Jethro was the only one who was impressed. There is no indication that Zipporah was force to marry Moses against her will. Please try harder.
5) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.--Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
The property was icing on the cake. Gravy. Boaz and Ruth wanted to get married. Boaz purchased the property to do things decently, lawfully, and in order of the Kinsman-redeemer laws. Look them up.
6) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.--Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
Um, God did not tell them to do that. The passage tells no one to do that. This passage merely describe what happened not condoning what happened. Read the text.
7) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep.Note: this will cost you a rib.--Adam (Gen. 2:19-24)
Your perfect soulmate! The one for you! And all it cost was a rib? You know Adam was praising God! I have a great wife and I think she is way worth more than rib. The Bible says:
22 He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the LORD. - Proverbs 18:22
This tells me if you are a man with a wife, God blessed you in special way. This is no different than it was with Adam.
8) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.--Jacob (Gen. 29:15-30)
Jacob wanted to marry Rachel so much he was willing to work 14 years for her. If you read on further he grew to love Leah as well. I don't really see why this something to be derided or ashamed of. We should all love our wives as much as Jacob loved Rachel. Jacob being tricked was pay back for how he swindled his brother Esau out of his blessing through deceit. You don't get to do something wrong and get away with it.
9) Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife.--David (1 Sam. 18:27)
Again, the Bible does not tell us that this is something that we should do. It describe what David did. In that day, one could ask just about anything for a dowry.
10) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone.--Cain (Gen. 4:16-17)
Was that supposed to be a Joke? We know that Cain married one of his sisters given that there weren't that many human being around. Just because we have details of Eve' conception of Cain and Able does not mean she didn't have daughter before or after them. We know it takes several generation for sibling couplings to become unnecessary when there isn't a large gene pool. I don't see why this is a problem. One would expect the same thing if you accept evolution - that is unless you don't want beneficial mutations to be carried over to the next generation. Just saying.
11) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.--Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
Xerxes, first wife would not live up to her duties so he had to find someone else. I mean he already took out Leonidas and the 300, burned Athens to the ground. I'm sure needed something to do. I don't see anything wrong with holding a contest to find the best woman for the job in the Persian Empire. The real miraculous thing is that it put Esther in a position to save her people. The event is still celebrated even today. If you think it's a horrible thing Xerxes did, sure would have liked to see you tell him that.
12) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.”--Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
This happens today and has been happening for a long time. God did not tell Samson to do this, but God did use it to bring Samson into conflict with the Philistines. Israelites were not even supposed to marry into the foreign nations who worshiped false gods.
13) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though.)--David (2 Sam. 11)
Now that's simply dishonest. The Bible plainly condemns David's actions. David repented and paid dearly for his sins. Would anyone truly try to argue that God was pleased with David's actions? If you would then you are lying.
14) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law!)--Onan and Boaz (Deut. or Lev., example in Ruth)
The idea was to take care of widows who had no other recourse in the society at the time. It was a world where a women (and children) could become destitute without a husband, father, or brothers to provide them. Also you didn't have to do it if you didn't want to marry her, although there was pressure from society, if you didn't want to. Again the law is being misrepresented.
15) Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.--Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
Solomon disobeyed God. Again the Bible is being misrepresented.
16) A wife?--Paul (1st Corinthians, chapter 7, see below)
It is good for a man not to touch a woman … For I would that all men were even as I myself… I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I… But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn… I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be… Are you loosed from a wife? seek not a wife… The time is short: it remains that they that have wives be as though they had none… He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit… that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction. - 1 Corinthians 7:1,7,8-9,26-27,29,32-35
I think one should read 1 Corinthians 7 in its entirety to see what Paul actually wrote. And it's context. Paul is not against marriage. I find it interesting that the line "Marriage is honorable" was left out..
All in all, I was supremely disappointed. Anyone who has ever read the scriptures for themselves should be able to see the spin that was put on the passages in this list. Referring to it as as "Poor exegesis" would be a complete misnomer.
Debunking Christianity: TOP 16 WAYS TO GET A WOMAN/ WIFE ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE