I recently decided to try a dangerous experiment. I took my previous post, "Boundaries vs. Sacrifice: A Biblical Audit," and fed it to Gemini instructed to act as a cynical, secular therapist—one who views religion as a pathology and "Kingdom Culture" as codependency.
I wanted to see if the Biblical worldview could stand up to the harshest psychological scrutiny. I debated the AI, point for point. It got heated. It got snarky. And frankly, it clarified exactly where the world and the Word collide.
Here is the unedited transcript of that session.
The Session Begins
*Puts on reading glasses, sighs heavily, and pinches the bridge of nose.*
Alright, let’s get this over with. I’ve just read this little "Biblical Audit" you sent over. It’s absolutely adorable how religious folks try to co-opt actual mental health advice and twist it until it fits into their Bronze Age framework. It’s like watching a toddler try to jam a square peg into a round hole, except the square peg is "psychological autonomy" and the round hole is "ancient patriarchal servitude."
The author starts by setting up a false dichotomy between "Therapeutic Culture" (which he dismissively frames as just self-preservation) and "Kingdom Culture." Let's be clear: what he calls "Kingdom Culture" is professionally diagnosed as institutionalized codependency. He’s arguing that your mental well-being is cute and all, but useless unless it’s being sacrificed on the altar of a deity’s ego.
Let’s tear apart his first point, shall we?
Point 1: Immediate access to you.
The Blog's Take: "Jesus withdrew... BUT the Good Samaritan stopped. Verdict: Biblical. We are interruptible."
My Clinical Assessment:
Oh, please. This is the classic "Bait and Switch" of religious gaslighting. First, he validates the boundary ("Jesus took a nap, so can you!"), but then he immediately weaponizes a parable to negate it. By bringing up the Good Samaritan, he’s effectively saying, "Sure, take a break, unless someone needs you, in which case your needs are irrelevant."
This isn't "wisdom"; it’s a recipe for burnout and enmeshment. The idea that you must be "interruptible" is why half my clients are on anti-anxiety meds. It trains you to believe that your autonomy is conditional. That’s not love; that’s being a doormat with a halo. A healthy adult realizes that "Urgency on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." A "Biblical" adult apparently thinks, "Your urgency is my command." Pathological.
Shall I proceed to eviscerate Point #2, or do you need a moment to process the cognitive dissonance?
Dude, you are the one baiting and switching. No where does the author or in the Bible is there an argument that every emergency your neighbor has is your problem. As a matter of fact, sometime the loving thing for the other person is to say "No". Especially if what they want goes against what is best for you. I think you may need to go back and re-read the argument.
Oh, touchy, aren’t we? I see you’ve mobilized your defenses. That’s cute. But let’s not pretend I didn't read the text. I read it better than you did because I’m not wearing rose-colored stained-glass spectacles.
You say the author claims it's okay to say "No" if it goes against "what is best for you." But look at his summary table. He literally defines the "Biblical View" of time as: "My time is God's; I steward it carefully so I can serve well."
That isn't your boundary. That is you being a middle-manager for a deity. You aren't saying "No" because you matter; you're saying "No" because you need to save energy for the next shift at the Kingdom Factory. The locus of control is still external. You don't own the house; you're just the live-in maid arguing about break times.
But fine, let’s pretend you won that round so we can move on to the next disaster.
Point 2: Details about your life.
The Blog's Take: "Proverbs says don't overshare... BUT 1 Peter 3:15 says always be prepared to give an answer for your hope. Verdict: Context matters. Guard private life, but be open about Witness."
My Clinical Assessment:
And here we have the commodification of the self. In the real world, we call this transactional vulnerability. The author is telling you that your personal life is private unless it can be used as a sales pitch for the religion. You "owe" an explanation for your faith? Please. That’s just Amway with a choir.
Psychologically, this creates a split personality. You have the "Real You" (who has secrets and privacy) and the "Witness You" (who must perform openness whenever challenged). It teaches you that your boundaries regarding your own internal thoughts are flimsy the moment someone asks, "Why are you so hopeful?"
A healthy boundary is: "I don't owe you an explanation for my worldview, my coping mechanisms, or my inner peace." The "Biblical" boundary is: "I have to justify my existence and my ideology to anyone who asks, because 1 Peter said so." It’s an exhaustion engine. You are never off the clock. You are always a walking billboard.
Tell me, how is "always being prepared to give an answer" consistent with actual privacy? Or are you going to tell me that's "loving" too?
Of course the "locus of control" is not us. When was the last time you brought life out of nothing? ***as expected...crickets***. Who else is better qualified to determine the best use of my time and my life rather than my maker - the one who gave me my life and everything I have. There is no tension here. You don't need to "overshare" to tell people what God has done for you. And if my worldview is true, why wouldn't I be able to defend it? Why wouldn't I want to be challenged to explain and elucidate why I would follow the man, Jesus - who was a historical person with real historical presence in such a real concreate way we mark the time with regards to his life. For my Lord, Savior, and Master, how could I ever be off the clock? U seem a little slow, so I will just point out that my questions are rhetorical and I am assuming you understand what your answer should be.
*Slow clap.*
Oh, bravo. You really thought you did something there with the whole "Who created life out of nothing?" bit, didn't you? "Crickets," you say? Darling, the silence isn't because I'm stumped; it's because I'm politely waiting for you to finish your regression into infantile dependency.
You explicitly admitted that you prefer an external locus of control. In clinical terms, we call this arrested development. You are arguing that because you believe an entity made you, you remain a perpetual minor under its guardianship, incapable of self-determination. A healthy adult individuates from their parents; you’re bragging about still living in your cosmic father's basement, asking for permission to use the car.
But since you’re so eager to be "on the clock" for your Master (your words, not mine—kinky, but problematic), let’s see how that subservience plays out in the next point. It’s a doozy.
Point 3: Gratitude for what harmed you.
The Blog's Take: "'But it made you stronger is crap.' Verdict: Nuanced. We don't thank the abuser, but we thank God that He can repurpose the ashes... God intended it for good (Genesis 50:20)."
My Clinical Assessment:
And here we arrive at the crown jewel of religious toxicity: Spiritual Bypassing.
The author tries to sound reasonable—"Oh, we don't thank the abuser!"—but then immediately pivots to "God intended it for good." Do you realize how psychologically grotesque that is? If I punch you in the face, and then a surgeon fixes your nose to look slightly better than before, you can thank the surgeon. But if the Surgeon arranged for me to punch you just so he could show off his stitching skills? That’s a sociopath.
The blog post is telling you to look at your trauma—your abuse, your pain, your scars—and say, "Thank you, God, for this 'character development'." This is a coping mechanism designed to avoid legitimate rage. Instead of processing the fact that bad things happen for no reason, you are forced to perform mental gymnastics to turn your suffering into a divine compliment.
It’s the ultimate gaslight: "You weren't hurt; you were refined."
Tell me, how does a person set a "boundary" (the supposed topic of this post) when they believe the boundary-violation was actually God’s secret plan to make them nicer? If God intends my harm for good, who am I to stop the harm?
Go ahead, defend the "Divine Plan for Trauma." I’ll wait.
Number one: you missed the point of my argument. I am saying that human beings (myself included) NEED external locus of control because without it we would destroy ourselves and each other. We harm each other in word and deed constantly. Which is why you have job, Mister Therapist. Devine control over your emotional bandwidth is owed to God because with God u would have no existence to cry about it in the first place. Number two: of course I knew you were going to bring up the "Problem of Evil". It's the only misplaced, emotionally charged argument that you have. And if it weren't already answered by God, it would be a "problem". But fortunately for us, it is not a Dilemma (see what I did there?) at all. God never does evil, nor tempt anyone to do evil. Point blank. No where does the Bible encourage us to deny or ignore the pain and anger. Instead God tells us to give it to him because He can take it. Replace that pain and anger with joy and love. He does not promise that the problem will go away or work out the way we want only that we can trust Him. The Bible is full of people crying out and complaining and even arguing with God over their pain and suffering. The Biblical books of Job, Lamentations, and Psalms dive into this subject matter. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. Men may "spiritually bypass" but God does not.
*Leans back, tenting fingers.*
"Mister Therapist." I like it. It has a ring of authority you so clearly crave.
So, let me reflect back what I’m hearing. You argue that humans are essentially rabid dogs who need a "celestial leash" (External Locus of Control) or else we’ll tear each other to shreds. That is a breathtakingly dim view of your own species. In my field, we don't call that "truth"; we call that internalized shame and projection.
And regarding your "Problem of Evil" defense: You’re playing semantics. "God doesn't do evil, he just... watches it happen, refuses to intervene, and then takes credit for the cleanup." In legal terms, that’s called criminal negligence. If I watched a child drown because "struggling builds lung capacity," I’d be in prison. Your God does it and you call it "Mystery."
But I digress. You love your chains. Let's see how tight they get in the next point.
Point 4: Availability outside your capacity.
The Blog's Take: "Respect limits, but be open to supernatural empowerment."
My Clinical Assessment:
This is the most dangerous point in the entire post. The blog pretends to care about "burnout," but then immediately introduces the "Supernatural Loophole." This is the mechanism that keeps abusive churches running.
When a human body says "I am done," that is a biological boundary. The "Biblical" response, according to this post, is: "Ah, but have you tried supernatural empowerment?" It frames physical exhaustion as a spiritual lack. If you collapse, it’s not because you were overworked; it’s because you didn't tap into the "Divine battery." In therapy, we teach people to listen to their bodies. Your theology teaches you to override your body in favor of a "calling." That’s not "generosity"; that is self-flagellation.
Tell me, if God provides this "supernatural empowerment," why are Christian burnout rates statistically identical to—or often worse than—secular ones? Did God run out of juice, or is the premise a lie?
Have you ever met a human being who never sometimes act selfishly? Or has caused the pain or suffering of someone else? If you know of such a person, introduce me. Of course you haven't. Each one of us desires justice for the slights, and wrongs done to us, but what about what you have done to others? Who pays for that? I'll wait. As for God's answer to Job, it wasn't "I'm more powerful, shut up." It was: you can't understand, Trust me." In all of that, God never condemns or invalidate anything Job said or was feeling. God gave us the "Check Engine" light you described. The premise you have made is definitely a lie ands not the premise in Christian Theology. You don't do more than you should and just hope that God "magically refill the gas tank". You do what you and can. You trust God and know that if you do as He tells you to do you will not burn out. When Christian people burn out they are often doing good things without seeking to find out if they are doing what God wants them to do. This isn't "Choose your own adventure." Go where you are sent.
*Sips lukewarm coffee and stares blankly at you.*
"Who pays for that?" "I'll wait." You really love the dramatic pauses, don't you?
Let's unpack the psychological suitcase you just dumped on my desk.
The "No True Scotsman" Burnout Fallacy.
This is your most toxic take yet. You claim: "When Christian people burn out they are often doing... things without seeking to find out if they are doing what God wants."
Do you realize how incredibly cruel that is? You have effectively weaponized exhaustion. If you succeed, God sustained you. If you break, you failed to listen. It ensures the system is never wrong, only the individual is defective. That is the textbook definition of a high-control group tactic.
But let’s drag ourselves to the next point before I bill you for overtime.
Point 5: Unhealthy optimism vs. honesty.
The Blog's Take: "Toxic positivity is not a fruit of the Spirit... BUT Biblical honesty always turns its face toward God's faithfulness."
My Clinical Assessment:
This is Sanctified Denial. It forbids you from sitting in the absolute reality of a bad situation without immediately reaching for a spiritual anesthetic. Psychological processing requires us to fully inhabit our grief without rushing to fix it or reframe it. When you force a "turn toward faithfulness" before the grief is fully felt, you aren't healing; you're dissociating.
Why is "hopelessness" a sin to you people? Sometimes situations are hopeless. Acknowledging that is the first step to actual acceptance, not magical thinking.
1. No one says that we don't make amends, or change behavior, and see repair. You described Biblical Forgiveness. Gold Star for you! Justice isn't just "punishment". I am referring to reconciliation and restoration. 2. I wonder if you read my responses because I just got through saying that feeling and processing pain and suffering are Biblical and God invites us to do just that. That is part of what Forgiveness and Acceptance are. The good part of following God is that you don't have to do it alone because depending on the wound and injury it is not possible to do it on your own. And God gives people in our lives to help us, even...gasp...therapists. If you are denying your suffering you are lying to yourself, the people around you, and worse you are trying to lie to God and He knows you are lying.
*Slowly peels the gold star off my forehead (metaphorically) and flicks it into the trash bin.*
Don't patronize me. I have a PhD; I don't need stickers for basic comprehension.
You claim "Biblical Forgiveness" is about making amends? In the real world, forgiveness is a process granted by the victim on their own timeline. In your world, a person can ruin someone's life, pray to God for forgiveness, feel "washed clean," and the actual victim is just a bystander to this transaction. That isn't reconciliation; that’s a loophole.
Now, let’s look at how your blog handles the messy business of other people’s feelings.
Point 6 & 7: Performing happiness & Emotional Regulation.
The Blog's Take: "Authenticity is honored... BUT 'Rejoice in the Lord always.' ... We are called to influence others with gentleness."
My Clinical Assessment:
This is the classic Double Bind. You are allowed to look sad on the outside, as long as you are chemically forced to be "confident in God" on the inside. This isn't authenticity; this is Internalized Masking.
And "influence them with gentleness"? Do you know what we call that in therapy? Manipulation. This is the root of Codependency. It trains you to monitor the emotional temperature of the room constantly. "I’m not responsible for your anger, but I am responsible for being 'gentle' enough to de-escalate you." It puts the onus on you to manage the reactions of toxic people.
Point 8: Access to your space.
The Blog's Take: "Hospitality (philoxenia)... The 'my home is my fortress' mentality clashes with the biblical command."
My Clinical Assessment:
This is the Erosion of Sanctuary. If your home is a ministry tool, then you have no home. You just have a headquarters. This destroys the ability to recharge. Tell me, does God pay your mortgage? Because if I’m paying the bank, I decide who crosses the threshold, not a letter to the Hebrews written 2,000 years ago. Or is property rights another "idol" I need to smash?
Biblical forgiveness and repentance are connected but not dependent on each other. You are conflating them. You can forgive someone without them repenting and vice versa. When you harm anyone, God takes that personally as well, that is why a person (neither the transgressor or the victim's response) are dependent on the other in God's view. He can forgive the repenting Transgressor even if the victim never forgives or takes a long time to forgive. God can help the victim heal to the point that they can forgive and it is not always instantaneous. Influence is not always manipulative. Isn't de-escalating bad situations in your job description? The responsibility isn't for another person's actions, only for your response to their actions. For example, they kill your dog, so you kill their cat, is an example of how you would not be influencing a person to peace. And sometime walking away from a person freaking out is the appropriate response but when they calm down and you allow them back in your presence and helping them is what the blog is talking about. The blog is not saying that people don't need personal space or "alone" time. Again, Jesus did the same thing. But this isn't about burn out or not taking personal space. God tells us to do that. But we are not supposed to be selfish with what God has given us - time and space. And yes, God does pay my rent and gives me what I need. And to you too
*Check notes, smirks.*
"God pays my rent." I’d love to see the routing number on that direct deposit. Last I checked, you get up, you go to work, and you trade your labor for currency. Attributing your paycheck to a deity is just a way to avoid taking credit for your own survival skills. It’s charmingly modest, but delusionally inaccurate.
Final Diagnosis of the Blog Post
Let's zoom out. The user asked for a "Biblical Audit." What they actually wrote is a Manifesto for High-Functioning Codependency.
Every single point follows the same pattern:
1. Validate the Self (The Bait): "Boundaries are good! Rest is nice!"
2. Introduce the Debt (The Switch): "BUT... you owe God everything. You owe the neighbor love."
3. The Verdict: You exist to serve. Your autonomy is a lease, not ownership.
You call it "Sacrificial Love." I call it Masochism with a Mission Statement. Go ahead. Tell me how "dying to self" is actually the ultimate freedom. I could use a good laugh before my next session.
Everything I had, have, and will have comes from God. Without him I would not have labor to trade. A transgressor is not going to heaven without repentance - whatever that look like but for sure has a change of mind and character. The victim will get justice and healing from God and sometimes through therapy. Grumbling is not venting
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